The Year of Magical Thinking by Joan Didion

This was a memoir of a lady in the year after her daughter falls terribly ill in the hospital and is in a coma and 6 days later her husband dies. This total and complete loss can resonate with all of us. I don't know how I would deal with this sort of tragedy. She makes it through helping her daughter get well and then deals with her second significant illness that year. But through the book, she realizes that she is having what she calls magical thinking. She can't get rid of her husbands shoes because her subconscious says that he can't come back if he doesn't have any shoes to come back to. She goes through these stages of grief and it really resonates that this cannot be anything but the way that grief is. I cried numerous times throughout the book. I imagined how I would feel in the same situation, I grew with her. One of the things that I got out of the book the most was that while everyone says that you will grow into a new person due to these traumatic events, the author doesn't feel that to be the case. Maybe a different person but not one that grew. I think that is the way that I would be too.

Have you lost someone close to you?
What stages of grief did you go through and how long did it take for you to feel like you were actually living your life again?
How did you move through that oppressive weight on your chest that makes you feel like you can't breathe?

Because of Winn-Dixie by Kate DiCamillo

Well, this book was great! I never have seen the movie that they made out of it and now I am definitely going to have to borrow it from the library! It was a great story about a little girl that moves to a new town and has to leave all her friends behind and so is lonely. This brings up her long-term hurt of her mama leaving her and her dad when she was only 3. Then she gets a big, ugly dog and names him Winn-Dixie! Winn-Dixie gets into all sorts of things but he also introduces Opal to all sorts of people! She makes friends and in the end, her and her dad are closer and she feels like her heart is full. I personally thought this was a great feel good book and at the end, I was really happy with the way it turned out, even if there were a few tears along the way.

These are taken from the scholastic site and I thought they were great discussion questions for the book. If anyone else wants to read the book and then discuss it with me, I would love that!

Opal makes a lot of quick judgments about some of the characters in the book, such as the Dewberry brothers, Otis, and Amanda Wilkinson. But as she gets to know them, her opinions change. Have you ever judged someone too quickly? Did you eventually change your opinion? What made you change what you thought? Why is it important not to "judge a book by its cover"?

What decisions does Opal make in this story that end up changing her life? Have you ever made what seemed like a small, unimportant decision, but it turned out to be very important? Explain.

Gloria Dump says she thinks "the whole world has an aching heart." Do you agree that everyone has their own sadness? Why?

What do you think Opal and her dad, the preacher, get from having Winn-Dixie? Who or what in your life is like Winn-Dixie?

When Winn-Dixie is missing after the thunderstorm, Gloria Dump says to Opal, "There ain't no way you can hold on to something that wants to go, you understand? You can only love what you got while you got it." What do you think Gloria means? Do you agree with her thought? Why or why not?

At the end of the story, Opal seems to accept that her mother is not coming back. Why is this an important part of the story? What is something difficult in your life that you've had to accept?

The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls

Well, I never met a book I didn't like. This book was a memoir from Ms. Walls dysfunctional family life growing up. They didn't have food or clothes most of the time her and her 2 sisters and 1 brother were growing up and they basically lived in run-down shacks. It was interesting and the book was well written. I liked her style - plain and simple but really illustrative of her personal feelings! Throughout the whole book, I kept thinking, Dang! Where the heck is child services? And really, child services should have been called in during these children's lives. In the end, you really get a sense of the uncertainty she lived with as a child.

The most important and overarching thing I got out of this book was that even though the reason all these things were happening to her were the crazy ideas her parents had and she knew it, she still loved them. She still thought the world of her daddy even though she saw him for the alchoholic he was. She still loved her mother even though it turned out that their mother had had other financial resources to support the children the entire time they were children. It just goes to remind you that children have an unconditional love for their parents and we have a duty not to abuse that power.

Chapter 6 in The Jungle

In this chapter, the poor family finds out that they have to pay interest on the money that they have borrowed on top of the $12 a month that they already had thought they were paying. They were very upset but it was in the contract. It is difficult to understand coming from a world that does not understand interest. In our world of credit cards, we understand interest very well (hopefully). So anyway, the family has to have the oldest boy go and work to pay the extra interest on the house. He has to be some sort of lard can operator. He is going to make about $9 a month so that covers their interest on the house loan. Then Jurgis and Ona go back to planning their wedding. They know it will cost them at least $200 to throw their wedding even though they believe that they will get it back at the Lithuanian money dance. Weddings are expensive no matter who you are! I got married for about $5000. My brother is getting married and their budget is $7500 and that is a low budget! How much did your wedding cost and do you have any good tips on keeping costs down?

Have a good night and stay safe! Any thoughts on the story so far?

Chapter 5

It's hard to understand the awe that the family experienced when they realized that they had finally bought their own home when you live in my life. I'm not rich by American standards, by any means. My book obsession pretty much takes up the spending money we have out of $18,000 a year for four people, but my parents owned their own home when I was growing up and I fully expect to after I get out of law school. So to me, the idea of never even dreaming about what kind of house you are going to have or where you are going to live is so far outside my realm of possibility. What are your dreams for your house in the future?

Also, Jurgis has his first experience with the unions in this chapter. What is your experience with unions today? Obviously it was an invaluable tool in history to advocate for better rights for workers, but do you think they are outdated?

Finally, everyone is telling Jurgis how much they hate their jobs. What was the worst job you ever had?

Have a good night and stay safe. I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've written, but the kids and the holidays and school have kept me crazy.

Chapter 4 in The Jungle

Link to Chapter 4 is in the title! In this chapter Jurgis reports for his first day of work. He stands outside for over 2 hours just waiting for someone to tell him what to do. I can only imagine feeling like you did nothing wrong because no one told you to do something else. Have you ever felt so helpless in your whole life? The family went to buy a small house near the yards because they determined that it would be better for them than renting for the rest of their lives. As you can tell from the chapter, I think that the family was afraid to hope that they were doing something right for themselves. They were sure that they were being swindled and only because they had never had the opportunity to believe anything else. I think to myself, if in your life no one had ever treated you fairly because of the class or race of person that you were, what incentive would you have to believe that everyone was not going to do that to you again? Any thoughts on the chapter?

I look forward to any comments. Be safe and have a good night.

The Vegetable-Industrial Complex - New York Times

The Vegetable-Industrial Complex - New York Times: "The Way We Live Now
The Vegetable-Industrial Complex

Please read this article. It really relates to the industrial food issues we are going to read about in The Jungle and it relates to today. If you have any ideas about what to do about the problems raised in the article, please post them. I love to hear from people. Be safe and have a good night.

Chapter 3 in The Jungle

Chapter 3 link is in the title! In the beginning of the chapter Jurgis finds work on his first day. He seems so happy to have found work as a gut shoveler. I find myself wondering how someone could be happy about that. However, looking at it from a penniless peasants point of view (not that I am rich but as of yet I have never had to shovel guts to pay the rent) I can see how I would be overjoyed to find a job to feed my family. The other men have a lead on some jobs and therefore the new family takes the rest of the day to explore their new surroundings. They take a tour of one of the packing plants, and I must tell you not to read it while eating because the description of the pigs squealing is enough to turn your stomach. I think by the end of the book, I may have to go back to my former life as a vegetarian. This description of the pigs is particularly visceral. "It was all so very businesslike that one watched it fascinated. It was porkmaking by machinery, porkmaking by applied mathematics. And yet somehow the most matter-of-fact person could not help thinking of the hogs; they were so innocent, they came so very trustingly; and they were so very human in their protests--and so perfectly within their rights! They had done nothing to deserve it; and it was adding insult to injury, as the thing was done here, swinging them up in this cold-blooded, impersonal way, without a pretense of apology, without the homage of a tear. Now and then a visitor wept, to be sure; but this slaughtering machine ran on, visitors or no visitors. It was like some horrible crime committed in a dungeon, all unseen and unheeded, buried out of sight and of memory." I can only imagine experiencing that first hand.

While reading this chapter, I was struck by the beauty of the description of the people working together in the slaughter houses. It was like Upton Sinclair really saw them as performing a dance together and for at least this moment in time, ignored the squalid conditions they had to live and work in. Also, the wonder and awe felt by the new family is bittersweet. You can understand their amazement at such an organization of food and slaughtering, but you also know that this is going to turn against them in the end. I found myself telling them in my mind not to be so entranced by this large machinery and telling them that the meatpacking industry cared as much about them as they did about the animals, probably less. But of course they did not listen. What do you expect from immigrants from far away that have never seen a factory, much less one of the size and magnitude of the old meatpacking firms. I encourage you to read my next post because I read this fabulous article on the industrial way we eat in America today in the New York Times on Sunday. It's fabulous and really kind of relates to the issues of meatpacking back in the day.

I look forward to any comments you have about the chapter. Be safe and have a good night.

Chapter 2 in The Jungle

Sorry guys - I know I missed two days in a row, but....I got bogged down with homework and family stuff. Anyway, you can read Chapter 2 through the link in the title. In this chapter, Upton Sinclair spends the chapter describing the first day in Packingtown for the family that came from Lithuania and how it came to be that they got there. I have no idea how it would feel to step off of a train or a boat and not know the language or anything about the place and then make my life there. I am not sure I am brave enough to do that. I think from reading the introduction that I can see that Upton Sinclair cared about the workers far more than he did for what was happening at the slaughtering houses. What he failed to take into consideration is that people rarely care about things that do not affect them and are highly offended about things that affect them directly. I think this chapter also started to show the dry humor that Mr. Sinclair has about things.

"Beyond this dump there stood a great brickyard, with smoking chimneys. First they took out the soil to make bricks, and then they filled it up again with garbage, which seemed to Jurgis and Ona a felicitous arrangement, characteristic of an enterprising country like America. A little way beyond was another great hole, which they had emptied and not yet filled up. This held water, and all summer it stood there, with the near-by soil draining into it, festering and stewing in the sun; and then, when winter came, somebody cut the ice on it, and sold it to the people of the city. This, too, seemed to the newcomers an economical arrangement; for they did not read the newspapers, and their heads were not full of troublesome thoughts about "germs."

It may not seem funny to the people in the story but it is witty. Here are my thoughts:

Have you ever had an experience of feeling so lost and adrift like an immigrant coming to a new country without any language or city skills?

Obviously Upton Sinclair believes that the way that the stockyards are taking advantage of the immigrants is wrong, but in a free market some people get taken advantage of and some people don't. What sort of regulations or safety net do you think there should be?

Also, Jurgis and Ona seem truly in love. I love to hear people's love stories. Tell me any romantic stories you want to. I appreciate it. My husband and I have been together for 5 years now and it just keeps getting better. It constantly surprises me.

Well, I look forward to your comments and hope to hear from you. Have a good night and stay safe.

A Small Picture Of Chicago

I am sure it didn't look like this in Upton Sinclair's day, but I wanted to see at least a little bit of the Windy City while we were reading a book set in it's stockyards. Be safe and have a good night.

Chapter 1 in The Jungle

Click on the title to read Chapter 1! The description of the wedding in this chapter is beautiful. You can almost smell the odor of alchohol and the braveness of the people celebrating in squalor. Everyone can imagine an Aunt like Marija! Upton Sinclair describes the musicians so well, I really want to hear them. My discussion questions for today are:

Do you have any strong connections to music? Do any songs bring back a particular memory for you, like the music at the wedding was reminding them of their homeland?

Are there any traditions handed down through your family or culture that are kind of withering in your current surroundings or time period? I have personally never been in that sort of transition period for a culture or people, but I can see that it would be so difficult to give that tradition up.

I thought that Upton Sinclair did a great job of describing every minute detail and making me feel like I was really at the wedding. What did you think about his descriptions?

Have a good night and stay safe. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

China Arrests Human Rights Lawyer Who Criticized State

I think that this NY Times article really relates to the issues wwe were examining in our last book, WIld Grass. The inner workings of the Chinese justice system can confuse anyone, especially us Westerners, because we regard the rule of law as supreme. Let me know what you think about the article! Click on the title to read the article.

Introduction to "The Jungle"

I got to read the foreword and the introduction to The Jungle today for the Penguin Classics Deluxe Edition that I have. The foreword was written by Eric Schlosser who wrote Fast Food Nation along with some other sort of expose books. The introduction is by Ronald Gottesman who is a professional editor and has taught literature at a college level. I really enjoy reading introductions to books especially novels that were written almost 100 years ago because I feel like it gives you some perspective on the book from a modern person. I think what most fascinated me was discovering that Upton Sinclair wrote this novel when he was almost 26. While he went on to write many more books, the only other books that matched the commercial success of The Jungle were the Lanny Budd novels that he wrote late in life. It also interestingly pointed out the paradox that the people that need the injustices in their life most pointed out (workers in unsafe conditions, immigrants etc.) are the least able to document their own struggles. Here are my thoughts for today:

Can you imagine reaching the pinnacle of your professional life at 26? Forst of all, I think that is depressing for all of us that are past 26 and have hopefully not reached the pinnacle of our professional lives. If you realized that you had done the best work that you could ever do at 26, I think that would provide a sincere lack of motivation for the rest of our life. Where would you go from there?

Do you think that people who are not actually a part of a group can accurately portray a group's struggles? I think that it can be done but it provides great challenges. The easiest thing in the world is to write what you know. What do you think you could write?

Do you think that the Food Acts that were passed partially as a result of this book need to be revised? If so, how? Do you think the FDA adequately protects you and the food and drugs that you and your children eat or do you think that they have been overly influenced by pharmaceutical companies and large food producers?

Let me know what you think. Be safe and have a good night! I am off to watch Numbers on On Demand.

End of the book =( Wild Grass

Well, this is the last 20 pages in this book. The author is examining why the town where Ms Chen was from (Weifang) is the center for the deaths of people held in custody for adherence to Falun Gong. "Anecdotal information suggested that criminals were being released to make room for Falun Gong adherents, while laogai - reform-through-labor camps - which are not supposed to house people detained without charge, were serving exactly this function." Why do you think that it was so important across the country to completely crush Falun Gong? Well, the reason that the brutality was bad is that the Chinese government told all the governors of the provinces that they would be held responsible for the actions of the people inside that situation. The governor of the province that Weifang is located in happened to be an extremely powerful man. He was being blamed within the party for how many protesters were coming from his province. Well, the accounting principle does teach us, "You get what you measure". In this case, the result of this pressure was not appropriate because we asked him to reduce the amount of protesters coming from his area and gave no guidelines about how to accomplish this. Therefore, they used whatever means necessary (obviously including death).

I liked this book quite a lot. I think that the writing style was clear and precise. Let me know what you think about it. Have a good night and stay safe.

Through Page 273 in Wild Grass

The author is speaking to Brother Li in this section and he says, "I think he saw in me a possible convert." While I felt like he meant this in a fond way, it made me think to myself, don't very strong believers in most religions look at people this way? It's like they are unable to get over the fact that I don't believe the same thing as them. Wait, I take that back. This is really only my experience with people that believe in a religion that excludes other people from heaven if you do not believe the same thing as them. Do other people have insights or comments on this phenomenon? Please tell me if I am wrong. "It was a complete cosmology, with a creation story, and a promise of salvation and heaven-and of hell to those who did not believe and follow. Of course, he'd want me to know about such a gift, and I accepted his solicitousness as it was meant: a token of friendship and genuine concern." I think that this line alone gave me a lot more insight into the mind of proselytizing.

"A decade earlier a sustained series of protests (such as the Falun Gong movement) in the face of a government crackdown would have been inconceivable. Now they were so common that the foreign media soon tired of them and at times only the duty-bound foreign wire services sent reporters." Do you think this symbolizes something important in the population of China or do you think this is just a piece of circumstantial evidence that the author uses to support his claim that China is building a civil society?

Brother Li used a quote, "The great hermit lives in the city" to illustrate that it is harder to give up all of your worldly temptations in the midst of all the options of the city. I found that this also preached the idea that suffering somehow makes us more moral. Do you think this is true? If you don't, think about things that you might have celebrated or said that in essence impart the same idea. I.e. Lent, feeling better about ourselves than others who have indulged in another glass of wine, an extra piece of cake or a new watch. I think that our whole country operates on the principle that to deny our desires somehow makes us a stronger person. Do you think this is true? Why or why not?

The story continued that Ms. Zhang was still trying to get her mother's death certificate to prove that her mother was killed by the authorities. She was not getting any where and would probably have been jailed if not for the international media attention that was focused on this case. She went all the way to the Public Security Bureau's office in Beijing to appeal for help. Ms. Zhang is worried about the effect that these actions are going to have on her son. She did actually get a letter from the Beijing office ordering her local police to respond to her request in writing, but the police decided that the best option was to ignore it. She accepted that she would never get the death certificate, but says that the experience changed her. She went to jail for 3 years and when she got out she became active in the Falun Gong movement. "She has come to realize what all people who want to change China eventually learn: the current system is at a dead end, but its death is not in sight." What do you think this last quote from the book means (the second part is very cryptic)? Do you think that this might be an overstatement for the author to state that all Chinese who want to change the system learn this in the end?

I look forward to your thoughts. Have a good night and stay safe.

Pg 233-253 in Wild Grass

The author goes to find out more information about Falun Gong from a Buddhist practitioner, Mr. Chen at the Temple of Universal Succor (I wish our churches had cool names like that - First Baptist Church is so boring). A quote about Mr. Chen says, "He typified China's religious associations: a legitimate believer who realized he was making compromises but felt he had no choice." I thought it was interesting that the author pointed out that shamanism has a long history in China. I normally think of shamanism as something that the Native Americans practiced. Mr. Chen is a highly regarded Buddhist hermit and had determined that "Falun Gong was a heretical offshoot of Buddhism that tried to legitimize itself by misappropriating traditional religious terms such as Dharma Wheel." "Master Li's works call for a reevalutaion of Buddhism" and are based on the 3 principles of being truthful, benevolent and tolerant. I think those are valuable principles no matter what religion you practice. Although the being truthful part is sometimes unnecessary. (IMHO) Mr. Chen wrote a book about how he viewed Falun Gong but could not get any publishers to publish the book because the government had instructed everyone to operate under a policy not to piss off the Falun Gong adherents. Professor He is an atheist and is influential in the Communist Party and the government adopted him as their spokesperson against Falun Gong after a massive demonstration of Falun Gong adherents in Beijing. In my reading of both sides of this story, I think that they use single instances of unstable people to prove that their side is correct. I am more than willing to concede that meditation helps circulation and digestion, but so is every scientist that reads major scientific publications. I personally belive it to trace back to the stress relief that you find in meditation, but that's just me. In my mind, there was no need to crack down so heavily on Falun Gong, but I admit that I can see the government's point of view. Here was a massively organized movement (religion) that they had not sanctioned and did not have any control over and it was threatening the everyday persons view of the government in China. "And while China certainly did not have any wars going on and by many measures was stable, here was something that didn't fit: 10,000 people who had somehow been organized without the governments knowledge."

What do you think about censorship? I think that censorship of religious debate or political debate is wrong, but do you think that all censorship is wrong? What about pornography? Near schools?

Do you think that followers of all religions are inherently unstable or do you think that we just need a spiritual center to come back to?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Have a good night and be safe.

Through Page 233 in story #3

I started the story back up and a gentleman named Brother Li gave the author a detailed account (written by someone else) of a woman's death at the hands of the Chinese government. It turns out to be the account of the death of Ms. Chen. Brother Li is a strong supporter of Falun Gong also and lost his job in order to not have to renounce his belief. Both the author and Brother Li believed that their phones were tapped so had to meet secretly and only call from pay phones. I would think that the organization would keep this account of Ms. Chen's death in their possession and use them later when it would be helpful, but they have actually decided to send them to the government with a complaint letter about how Ms. Chen was killed. I think this is a symptom of the thread that started in the other stories where these people believe in their hearts that if they could only get their complaint to the highest level of government, all their problems would be resolved. I think that is a delusion that a lot of people in many governments hold to since it makes them feel better about their lives. It was heartbreaking to read the account of the daughter feeling guilty over her reaction to her mother getting arrested again for protesting against Falun Gong. "If she'd been more understanding, she kept telling herself, her mother might still be alive." I think everyone who loses a parent after some harsh words with each other wrestles with the guilt that comes from that for the rest of their lives. Ms. Zhang did beg her mother to stay home because of the danger to her. When Ms. Zhang went to this "re-education" center to go see her mother after being arrested, she was not allowed to see her mother and was told that her mother was not being beaten. After Ms. Chen's passing, her children were easily able to see that their mother had been beaten. It is painful for a child to see that in any culture, but imagine that in one of the Asian cultures that puts so much stock and wisdom in their elders. In reality, the central government had told the local governments that "no measures were too excessive to wipe out Falun Gong." The government pushed this crackdown on Falun Gong as a crackdown on a cult, but in reality what scared them was the actual organization of the movement and the potential for it to easily turn into a political movement. The government sent out propoganda about Falun Gong beliefs everywhere. They claimed that Falun Gong had caused some people to commit suicide and other ludicrous things. "I also thought that many people lost sight of the fact that after Falun Gong was banned, believers had been forced from their jobs and forced underground. If they lived cut off from society, it was the government's doing, not Falun Gong's teachings."

I welcome any comments whether you are reading along in the book or not. Let me know what you think about the book or answer any or all of my questions. Have a good night and stay safe.

Through Page 213 in Story #3

Well we are into the second part of the last story and the daughter of Ms. Chen is obliged to go to Beijing and bail out her mother after Ms. Chen was arrested for protesting against the crackdown of Falun Gong in Beijing. Ms. Zhang (the daughter) is admitting that Falun Gong had seemed to hep her mother since she started the exercises, but the daughter is unable to understand why her mother just won't give up the practice now that the government has banned it as an "evil cult". Ms. Zhang had to pay a month's wages to get her mother out of holding in Beiing and then pay another month's wages for her mother's room and board while she was held in jail for two weeks in their local town. The problem for Ms. Chen is that Falun Gong taught her that it is wrong to not proclaim the beliefs that you hold dear. Do you think that it is wrong to protect yourself by lying about what your true beliefs are? I mean, in reality, it doesn't affect what you actually believe, but it does feel wrong inside. What do you think?

The book postulates that the fall of communism as a religion has started a religious revival in China. Do you think that people need religion? I admit that many people seem perfectly fine being agnostics and atheists, but the thing is that when religion is suppressed for many years and you would think that the younger generation had just moved on and did not even remember, as soon as they have the opportunity, many people are back to searching for a spiritual home. I think that people are just looking for a stability in something and spirituality is needed by everyone. Do you think there is a difference between religion and spirituality?

The communists (in both China and the Soviet Union) elevated science to a god-like status. Do you think that we do the same thing in the United States?

Have a good night and keep safe. I look forward to hearing your thoughts.

Through Page 193 in story #3

I started the third story today. It is a story about a 60 year old woman that was forced into early retirement and could not get any other job and felt depressed. She (like many other people in crisis) started looking for an answer. She found Falun Gong which is an exercise regimen and some guidelines for moral behaviour. She began practicing frequently and really felt connected in a way that she never had before. However, the government felt threatened by this upsurge in devotion to something other than them and declared that Falun Gong was a cult and it was now outlawed. The page that I got to just had Ms. Chen Zixiu (that's the 60 year old woman) deciding that she was going to Beijing to protest the governments crackdown on her "religion". Quote of the day is on Page 191: "For the first time in her life, Ms. Chen began to think hard about a government policy."

Here is what touched me the most today:

I think that this story is really about a person that had not been politically active but when some action of the government became personally meaningful to her, she was roused to action. I ask myself if everyone is like that, or do we need to do more to try and teach our children to be politically active? I think that all actions of the government actually have an effect on our lives, you just have to look deep enough into the consequences to see how it does affect you. What do you think?

Through Page 193 in story #3

I started the third story today. It is a story about a 60 year old woman that was forced into early retirement and could not get any other job and felt depressed. She (like many other people in crisis) started looking for an answer. She found Falun Gong which is an exercise regimen and some guidelines for moral behaviour. She began practicing frequently and really felt connected in a way that she never had before. However, the government felt threatened by this upsurge in devotion to something other than them and declared that Falun Gong was a cult and it was now outlawed. The page that I got to just had Ms. Chen Zixiu (that's the 60 year old woman) deciding that she was going to Beijing to protest the governments crackdown on her "religion". Quote of the day is on Page 191: "For the first time in her life, Ms. Chen began to think hard about a government policy."

Here is what touched me the most today:

I think that this story is really about a person that had not been politically active but when some action of the government became personally meaningful to her, she was roused to action. I ask myself if everyone is like that, or do we need to do more to try and teach our children to be politically active? I think that all actions of the government actually have an effect on our lives, you just have to look deep enough into the consequences to see how it does affect you. What do you think?